It’s strange how often I get accused of accusing people of things… Especially
by men, telling me I’m accusing them of hating women.
My last post (concerning frustrating discussions about sexism and patriarchy)
was reblogged with a comment about feminist tactics. These apparently
include using self-fulfilling studies (?), misquoting statistics and simply lying.
And of course – Falsely accusing any “real man” who stands up to them of
hating all women.
The most interesting thing about this comment isn’t that I never once in my post accused the guys I’d had discussions with of hating women (which, by the way, I’m fairly certain none of them do). It’s the fact the the person who wrote it
is a man who hates women. He actually uses quite a lot of the “about” section on his poetry blog to explain his hatred towards women.
What is it about feminism that makes men so eager to shout “You accuse men of hating women!”? Something that makes even men who do hate women feel indignant… I suppose it has something to do with the implied responsibility in our analysis of the world and its different social structures. You might not personally be a misogynist, but the system is, and you benefit from it.
Even uphold it. And I understand if that makes some people who were born men feel uncomfortable and a bit guilty, much like I feel about being white.
But I think it’s a pity that instead of acknowledging this feeling, and having a conversation about what it means to be a man in a patriarchy, some men choose to react to it with anger towards women and feminists. Attacking our arguments with comments that have nothing to do with what it is we’re actually saying, and so doing exactly what it is I have been accusing (some) men of
in the aforementioned discussions – Namely shutting women up by either scaring them, ridiculing them or twisting their arguments.
So I want to ask any man (or other person), who feels like accusing me of accusing them of hating women, to think extra hard before doing so.
Firstly, because I probably haven’t. It’s not my style. Nor is it an implied accusation embedded in everything feminists say. And secondly, because it won’t make me shut up. So don’t waste your time. However, if you want to have a real conversation about men and the patriarchy, I’m all yours.